My first Step

I'm doing a 12 Step program through The Church Of Jesus Christ Of Latter Day Saints for my problems with food. I need to figure out why I keep binging, why I have NO CONTROL over it, and work on overcoming the binges I go through.

http://www.providentliving.org/familyservices/AddicitonRecoveryManual_36764000.pdf
That is the website for the book we're using for the 12 Step Program. I thought I'd if the website don't work I copied and pasted it onto my blog just below.  So if you're wanting to give 12 steps a shot Step One is below.

Step Number 1
Admitted we were powerless over (what ever your affliction) and that our lives were unmanageable....


 
HONESTY
KEY PRINCIPLE: Admit that you, of yourself, are
powerless to overcome your addictions and that
your life has become unmanageable.
Many of us began our addictions out of curiosity.
Some of us became involved because of a justifiable
need for a prescription drug or as an act of
deliberate rebellion. Many began this path when barely
older than children. Whatever our motive for starting
and our circumstances, we soon discovered that the
addiction relieved more than just physical pain. It
provided stimulation or numbed painful feelings or
moods. It helped us avoid the problems we faced—
or so we thought. For a while, we felt free of fear,
worry, loneliness, discouragement, regret, or boredom.
But because life is full of the conditions that prompt
these kinds of feelings, we resorted to our addictions
more and more often. Still, most of us failed to recognize
or admit that we had lost the ability to resist and
abstain on our own. As Elder Russell M. Nelson of the
Quorum of the Twelve observed: “Addiction surrenders
later freedom to choose. Through chemical means, one
can literally become disconnected from his or her own
will” (in Conference Report, Oct. 1988, 7; or Ensign,
Nov. 1988, 7).
Rarely do people caught in addictive behaviors admit
to being addicted. To deny the seriousness of our condition
and to avoid detection and the consequences of
our choices, we tried to minimize or hide our behaviors.
We did not realize that by deceiving others and
ourselves, we slipped deeper into our addictions. As
our powerlessness over addiction increased, many
of us found fault with family, friends, Church leaders,
and even God. We plunged into greater and greater
isolation, separating ourselves from others, especially
from God.
When we, as addicts, resorted to lies and secrecy,
hoping to excuse ourselves or blame others, we weakened
spiritually. With each act of dishonesty, we bound
ourselves with “flaxen cords” that soon became as strong
as chains (see 2 Nephi 26:22). Then a time came when
we were brought face to face with reality. We could no
longer hide our addictions by telling one more lie or by
saying, “It’s not that bad!”
A loved one, a doctor, a judge, or an ecclesiastical
leader told us the truth we could no longer deny—the
addiction was destroying our lives. When we honestly
looked at the past, we admitted that nothing we had
tried on our own had worked. We acknowledged that
the addiction had only gotten worse. We realized how
much our addictions had damaged relationships and
robbed us of any sense of worth. At this point, we took
the first step toward freedom and recovery by finding
courage to admit that we were not just dealing with a
problem or a bad habit. We finally admitted the truth
that our lives had become unmanageable and that we
needed help to overcome our addictions. The amazing
thing about this honest realization of defeat was that
recovery finally began.
The Book of Mormon prophet Ammon plainly stated
the truth we discovered when we were finally honest
with ourselves:
“I do not boast in my own strength, nor in my own
wisdom; but behold, my joy is full, yea, my heart is
brim with joy, and I will rejoice in my God.
“Yea, I know that I am nothing; as to my strength
I am weak; therefore I will not boast of myself, but
I will boast of my God, for in his strength I can do all
things” (Alma 26:11–12).
Action Steps
Become willing to abstain
Even though people’s addictions are different,
some truths, like this one, never vary—nothing begins
without an individual’s will to make it begin. Freedom
from addiction and cleanliness begin with a tiny flicker
of will. People say individuals finally become willing to
abstain when the pain of the problem becomes worse
than the pain of the solution. Have you come to that
point? If you have not and you continue in your addiction,
you surely will reach that point because addiction
is a progressive problem. Like a degenerative disease,
it eats at your ability to function normally.
The only requirement to begin recovery is the desire
to stop participating in the addiction. If your desire is
small and inconsistent today, don’t worry. It will grow!
Some people recognize the need to be free from
addiction but are not yet willing to begin. If you are in
that situation, perhaps you can begin by acknowledging
your unwillingness and considering the costs
of your addiction. You can list what is important to
you. Look at your family and social relationships, your
relationship to God, your spiritual strength, your ability
to help and bless others, your health. Then look for
contradictions between what you believe in and hope
for and your behavior. Consider how your actions
undermine what you value. You can pray that the Lord
will help you see yourself and your life as He sees it—
with all your divine potential—and what you risk by
continuing in your addiction.
A recognition of what you lose by indulging in your
addiction can help you find the desire to stop. If you
can find even the smallest desire, you will have room to
begin step 1. And as you progress through the steps of
this program and see the changes that come into your
life, your desire will grow.
Let go of pride and seek humility
Pride and honesty cannot coexist. Pride is an illusion
and is an essential element of all addiction. Pride distorts
the truth about things as they are, as they have
been, and as they will be. It is a major obstacle to your
recovery. President Ezra Taft Benson defined pride:
“Pride is a very misunderstood sin. . . .
“Most of us think of pride as self-centeredness,
conceit, boastfulness, arrogance, or haughtiness. All
of these are elements of the sin, but the heart, or core,
is still missing.
“The central feature of pride is enmity—enmity
toward God and enmity toward our fellowmen. Enmity
means ‘hatred toward, hostility to, or a state of opposition.’
It is the power by which Satan wishes to reign
over us.
“Pride is essentially competitive in nature. We pit our
will against God’s. When we direct our pride toward God,
it is in the spirit of ‘my will and not thine be done.’ . . .
“Our will in competition to God’s will allows desires,
appetites, and passions to go unbridled (see Alma 38:12;
3 Nephi 12:30).
“The proud cannot accept the authority of God giving
direction to their lives (see Helaman 12:6). They pit
their perceptions of truth against God’s great knowledge,
their abilities versus God’s priesthood power,
their accomplishments against His mighty works” (in
Conference Report, Apr. 1989, 3–4; or Ensign, May
1989, 4).
As you become willing to abstain and admit the
problems you face, your pride will gradually be
replaced with humility.
Admit the problem; seek help; attend meetings
When we indulged our addictions, we lied to
ourselves and others. But we could not really fool
ourselves. We pretended we were fine, full of bravado
and excuses, but somewhere deep inside we knew.
The Light of Christ continued to remind us. We knew
we were sliding down a slippery slope toward greater
and greater sorrow. Denying this truth was such hard
work that it was a big relief finally to admit that we had
a problem. Suddenly, we allowed a tiny opening for
hope to slip in. When we chose to admit to ourselves
that we had a problem and we became willing to seek
support and help, we gave that hope a place to grow.
We were then ready to take the next step of attending
a recovery meeting.
Participation in a support group or a recovery
meeting may not be feasible for everyone. If you
cannot attend a recovery meeting, you can still follow
each of the steps, with minor modifications, as you
work with your bishop or a carefully chosen professional
counselor.
When attendance at a recovery meeting is possible,
you will find it helpful for at least two reasons. First, at
these meetings you will study specific gospel principles
that, when applied, will help you change your behavior.
President Boyd K. Packer of the Quorum of the Twelve
taught: “The study of the doctrines of the gospel will
improve behavior quicker than a study of behavior
will improve behavior. Preoccupation with unworthy
behavior can lead to unworthy behavior. That is why
we stress so forcefully the study of the doctrines of
the gospel” (in Conference Report, Oct. 1986, 20; or
Ensign, Nov. 1986, 17). Second, these meetings are a
place to gather with others seeking recovery and with
those who have already taken this path and are living
proof of its effectiveness. In recovery meetings you will
find understanding, hope, and support.
Study and Understanding
Studying the scriptures and the statements of Church
leaders will help you begin your recovery. This study
will increase your understanding and help you learn.
You can use the scriptures, statements, and questions
that follow for prayerful personal study, for writing,
and for group discussion. The thought of writing may
frighten you, but writing is a powerful tool for recovery.
It will give you time to reflect; it will help you focus
your thinking; it will help you see and understand the
issues, thoughts, and behaviors surrounding your
addiction. When you write, you will also have a record
of your thoughts. As you progress through the steps,
you will be able to measure your progress. For now,
just be honest and sincere as you write your thoughts,
feelings, and impressions.

Encompassed by temptations

“I am encompassed about, because of the temptations
and the sins which do so easily beset me.
“And when I desire to rejoice, my heart groaneth
because of my sins; nevertheless, I know in whom
I have trusted.
“My God hath been my support; he hath led me
through mine afflictions in the wilderness; and he
hath preserved me upon the waters of the great deep.
“He hath filled me with his love, even unto the consuming
of my flesh” (2 Nephi 4:18–21).

• Do you feel encompassed or trapped? When do

you feel this way most often?

• What situations or feelings weakened you so you

gave in to your addiction?

• When Nephi felt overwhelmed, in whom did he

place his trust? What can you do to place more

trust in the Lord?

“I know that man is nothing”

“It came to pass that it was for the space of many
hours before Moses did again receive his natural
strength like unto man; and he said unto himself:
Now, for this cause I know that man is nothing,
which thing I never had supposed” (Moses 1:10).

• How did Moses describe himself as compared

to God?

• How can a little child be of infinite worth and still

be nothing when compared to his or her parents?

• In what ways are you nothing when you do not

have the help of God?

• In what ways are you of infinite worth?

• Write about how recognizing your helplessness to

overcome your addiction on your own can bring

you to admit your own nothingness and become

as a little child.

Hunger and thirst

“Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after
righteousness: for they shall be filled” (Matthew 5:6).
“And my soul hungered; and I kneeled down before
my Maker, and I cried unto him in mighty prayer and
supplication for mine own soul; and all the day long
did I cry unto him; yea, and when the night came I did
still raise my voice high that it reached the heavens”
(Enos 1:4).

• In these two scriptures, we learn that our souls

can hunger. Do you ever feel empty inside, even

when you are not physically hungry? What causes

that emptiness?

• How can your hunger for things of the Spirit help

you be more honest?

Honesty

“Some may regard the quality of character known as
honesty to be a most ordinary subject. But I believe it
to be the very essence of the gospel. Without honesty,
our lives . . . will degenerate into ugliness and chaos”
(Gordon B. Hinckley, “We Believe in Being Honest,”
Ensign, Oct. 1990, 2).

• Write about ways you have lied and attempted to

hide your addiction from yourself and others. How

has this behavior caused “ugliness and chaos”?

Humility

“Because ye are compelled to be humble blessed
are ye; for a man sometimes, if he is compelled to
be humble, seeketh repentance; and now surely,
whosoever repenteth shall find mercy; and he that
findeth mercy and endureth to the end the same
shall be saved” (Alma 32:13).

• Write about the circumstances that have compelled

you to humility and to seek repentance. What hope

does Alma give you? How can you find or receive

that hope?

The Lord’s delight

“Lying lips are abomination to the Lord: but they that
deal truly are his delight” (Proverbs 12:22).

• Writing the answers to these questions has called

for a deep level of honesty about yourself. How

does this passage of scripture relate to this kind of

honesty? How can you become the Lord’s delight?