- July 19 I went into the hospital because I had planned out a suicide plan. while I was there we got to paint ceramics, and it is something now that I'd like to do more often. It is nice being creative. The doctor that was treating me gave me a new diagnosis of Bipolar. I got taken off my antidepressants and put on Lithium and seroquel, I stayed on Limictal and my klonopin went up from .5 to 1mg and I stayed on the Clonodine. I was discharged on July 31 from the hospital. When I got out of the hospital i was an emotional mess. Yelling at everyone snapping at people, crying over everything and nothing all at the same time. I was miserable. No one was happy being around me because I made their life a living hell.
- August 28- September 4th I was hospitalized again, I was having suicidal thoughts and I was a mess from the lithium. The night I was admitted I immediately taken off the lithium. I now take .5mg of Klonopin, 200mg of limictal (half in morning half at night), .1mg of colonidne (twice a day), Seroquel at 100mg and I'm on a new medication called viibryd at 20mg. I started to feel better but recently I really want to cut and numb out with my pills. I really hate feeling so miserable I don't want to cry. I want to be happy. I guess I'll just take it one day at a time. it feels like my blood in my arms are on fire, in my veins. I dunno what to do.
