update sat - today/monday

I dunno what to write... but i need to post something
On Saturday i walked in the room to find my dad and his sister fighting. I could see the tension and how they have a strained relationship. It hit me then if i don't change things with my sister now in 30 years my sister and I will be where my dad and my aunt are today. Having that realization i got really depressed and got bad anxiety.
On top of that i felt huge that day and every time i turned around food was being shoved in my face. (I think this is more the reason for my anxiety that day) We went to El Matador and i felt as though i was getting no air in me... i couldn't breath. I took two anxiety pills... finished my dinner and just felt down. ugh...
Sunday I dunno if i really was sick or if my anxiety had gotten so bad that it had made me sick. I was vomiting, vomiting, vomiting. not fun at all
Today Monday... went and helped clan my grandpa's house My word pack rats (my aunt lives with him and it's totally pigsty) I dunno how anyone could live in such a mess my anxiety kicks in at the house and all i want to do is clean clean clean clean until it's all clean.