I HATE HER!!!! I FEEL SO MUCH RAGE INSIDE WHEN I SEE HER. I'VE HAD THOUGHTS OF ATTACKING HER, although I'd never do such a thing cuz 1. that scares the crap out of me and 2. I'd be sick from doing a thing like that and 3. she's done nothing to me to deserve to be attacked by me. I think maybe I hate her so much cuz she's friends with him. He claims he is only using her for money, but still they hang out 24/7 I dunno if I believe him. It's him I should hate not HER!!!
He use to touch me, I would fight back, but he was too strong, he over powered me. I finally stopped fighting him, it was too much work and I never succeeded at getting him to stop. Things continued to go on between me and him. I would say no, and he'd find a way to guilt me into doing what he wanted, or harass me until I'd give in and say yes. After doing what he wanted I'd hate my self, I'd feel guilty as can be. He'd tell me, "Don't ever tell anyone, if you do I won't ever talk to you again." I'd tell my friends what had happened. One day he took it too far, he wouldn't listen to no, I'm trying to sleep, I have to go get ready for work in 30 minz so let me sleep. He wanted it. He tried to force me to do it. I fought fought fought. I remember him saying "This isn't working." and he'd try to force it in my mouth. I'd put my hand over my mouth and bite my lips closed. He'd take my and have me touch it. I felt so violated. I went into work that day just crying.
I told one of my friends and she said Britni you need to tell the police, I didn't want to I was too scared to, but I let her take me to the police. when i told the police what happened they wanted to press charges against me. I truly wanted to die. They told me no talking to him. Hell that was easy cuz my parents found out and i changed my cell phone number so he was unable to contact me. Just when I thought things were going good I received and an email from him he told me he was sorry. ( um I thought that he'd never talk to me again if I told) well I fell for his apology and we slowly started to hang out again. he started to make me feel guilty if I didn't do the things he wanted... this time things went further. I finally got so depressed that I and the being depressed made me realize the depression had a lot to do with him. So I'm now working on not hanging out with him (so far so good haven't hung out since October 2009) I'm now working on cutting off all phone calls (not so good.) I'm having a hard time with this one. I've tried blocking his number but my phone shows when he's tried to call so I ended up unblocking him number. (well I don't know his number cuz he blocks him number when he calls)
So I come back why do I hate her and not him? He's the one that has hurt me, He obviously doesn't trust me, or I would know his number, and the only thing she's done is being friends with him.
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