Why don't I cry?
I'll get panic attacks?
After losing your grandparents and being unable to cry at their viewing and funeral.
Probably a disconnect? Too painful to process? So I run away and run away and run away because it's too painful
I didn't cry when my dad's mom passed away... but I still did cry... because I could see the pain my dad was feeling.
Hours later
You know what I do all day?
Put on noise (tv or radio) then sit and look at things on social media, like furniture, and obsess how it could help me reach perfection in my life. If its something that you need medically it won't be seen clearly... in disguised... hidden
because people can't know how "sick" you really are...
Why do I need perfection... when I know perfection is not real....
It drives me crazy...
I don't want to have my feelings... too much to deal with...
I don't want my body too much wrong with it.
I need help.
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