How did I get into this ED? How did I allow myself to be consumed by every Morsel of food? I love that I've lost 16 pounds in 8 days yet I'm so freaking weak(got up to use the restroom and everything was black and I was seeing stars)... I don't want to eat. I feel so much anxiety when it comes to eating. I want so badly to be THIN THIN THIN!!!! I'm so sick of being FAT! I won't be FAT I WON'T WON'T WON'T I REFUSE TO EAT until I'm out of the two hundreds I'm 228.4lbs today so I say I won't eat until I've lost about 30 pounds if I keep losing two pounds a day that's 15 more days without food. but then I'll wanna not eat until I get into the 180's then not eat till i get to 160... it's an endless cycle... It's all I think about.
Those that know me in person, this is hard for me to admit that I'm doing this to myself. I just need to vent. Don't go running off telling my parents. If you have any concerns talk to me.
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