Mountains (redo)

Mountains

Conquering this mountain has always been a dream.  You don’t know if you’re ready but you’re going for it.  You’re scared to death. Just taking baby steps is all you can do, so you get started.  It’s a hot day. You can feel the sun beating down and you can smell the fresh mountain air. Today will be a good day. After a while, the terrain you are on becomes steeper, being out of shape, it is hard but you keep going.  The longer you go the steeper it gets.  Before you know it you’re on all fours crawling your way up the mountain. Finally the trail becomes level again and you’re able to walk. I’m doing this, I can do this. You find a place to sit drink some water and eat your granola bar for some energy.  Ready to continue you get up and start on your way, before you know it, the trail has become so steep that you’re not sure if you want to go on. But I’m going to do this, nothing will stop me.  So you go for it.  As you’re crawling on all fours you don’t realize that the rock you put your foot onto is loose so you lose your footing and end up sliding down the trail. I can’t do this. I quit. I don’t want to give up though. I can’t do this on my own. All these thought racing through your head as you’re looking for something to grab onto as your falling down the trail. You finally find something to grab onto, and you steady yourself then talk yourself into continuing your journey.  You are making progress, when you come across a cliff. Fear and panic sink in. You truly doubt yourself. You turn around and start to head back. I can’t do this, I can’t turn around and go back, but I can’t face that cliff. I want to conquer this mountain, but I can’t do this alone. You see a group of people walk past you, toward the cliff. You follow them then watch and see how they tackle the cliff.  If they can do it I should be able to do it too. Deciding to tackle the cliff you feel your eyes water up, breathing becomes difficult, chest becomes tight, and you feel nauseated.  How do I do this if this fear is so high? You see another group of people come up toward you to cross the cliff.  I’ll ask for help? I don’t know they’ll laugh. Just ask, the worst they can say is NO! You ask and one of the guys lets you hold onto him while he crosses the cliff. Relieved you can begin to breathe again. You continue on your journey. The trail stays pretty level  with little changes  the terrain. Pretty soon you’ve reached the top.  I did it!  You enjoy the summit. Taking pictures of where you’re at.  Thinking of what you had to face and accomplish to get to where you’re at. You feel accomplished joyful and peace.

Rough draft

Depression is like a mountain. To get to the top of the mountain is to be happy. You have to take steps and work at it just to get there. You'll come across a cliff and fear will sink in, you'll doubt yourself, wonder if you are really as strong as you were feeling this morning when you decided you'd conquer this mountain. You'll debate on going back, but then someone offers you their hand, you're not alone you can cross this cliff; you cross it. A little while later the trail becomes very steep. you're on all fours climbing, you end up sliding back down, but grab onto a tree stump, and hold yourself there for a bit, talking with your friend, reminding yourself you're not alone and then you get the desire to keep going again, even if you start to slide back down, it's better you try than to just give up. You'll reach what you think is the top of the mountain and be so pleased with yourself and find peace in the beauty around you, then you notice there is more of the mountain, you figure why not, I've been doing well here, I got here with the help of others, as long as i use the skills I've learned to get to here I can make it to the next summit. So you head for it. This one seems a lot harder than the previous climb. more cliffs than before, and even steeper, but you remember the low, and don't wanna go back to that dark place. You remember the first summit you hit and remember the beauty, and you know you want to reach that place, so you fight even harder. This time you're more open about your struggles.