Lately I don't feel comfortable in my own skin. I feel like people look at me and are judging me or talking about me behind my back. what is she wearing, those clothes don't fit her. she needs to lose weight. she wouldn't sweat so bad if she lost weight. she's too big to wear that size of jeans. I'm self conscious as it is and these thoughts are making it worse.
My sister told me that she purges sometimes.
I was hysterical the other night crying to my dad. I'm so upset with my body and how it looks. I feel lost and I feel as though I don't know what to do. I told my dad I wanted to look like my friend Taresa, or my sister Maddi, or my friend Gillian (they are all tall and thin and beautiful). I don't want to look like my sister Ali cuz she's too curvy. (she's thin and beautiful but she has curves and I don't want curves).
My dad tells me I need to accept my body the way it is, but to me accepting it means I can't do anything about it and I'd be miserable the rest of my life and I don't want to be miserable. I don't know... I want to be thin. I'm scared to say I'll do something cuz I'm too afraid that I'll fail and not accomplish that goal.
I accept my feelings and me for who i am but when it comes to accepting my body for what it is... I run the opposite direction in tears.
So my question is...
How do I become comfortable in my own skin, how do I learn to accept me for me and my body?
ARGH
This might make me sound really shallow, but when I'm around others that look heaver than i do i still feel my fat rolls and I feel worse about me, cuz I don't want to end up being their weight or size. I need help
sweetheart i totally understand your struggle and quite frankly it takes a lot of thought ,i find that after i do something nice for myself i feel good (and i shed a couple lb) like a manicure or taking time w/ my hair
ReplyDeletei hope your day goes well xoxox
^^^ I agree. Even seeing the number on the scale go down a little bit can make such a big difference in your mood!
ReplyDeleteAlso, focusing on things about yourself you like- your eyes, your hair- or thinking back on things you accomplished- any award or good grade, perhaps.
And giving yourself time to purse hobbies.
And watching a tv show/ movie that you like. Preferably something funny; laughing always makes me feel good.
I hope you feel better asap!!! :)