Feeling down...
What has happened to cause me to feel so down?
I've got a family that loves and supports me.
I have friends that love and support me.
I get hugs from children almost daily cuz they love me so much.
Yet I feel I have nothing left to live for. I feel so much pain. I despise the way I look.
I feel out of control. I feel I have no hope.
But why do I feel I have no hope?
I see friends getting married and having babies... I am alone in that part of my life... I think I'm scared that I'll never get that chance to have my own family.
My bed is breaking cuz I'm morbidly obese, I want to hide my body... I want to stop eating... yet I can't it's like an addiction to food... If I don't have the food I want when I want it... run and hide cuz if I can't get it I'll take it out on you. I don't want to be like that. I want to feel satisfied with the food I eat and not overeat... I want to eat less... and go on a fast and not feel deprived.
I have so much more on my mind that I can't even describe....
I used to binge out a lot, and the feelings that come after it are HORRIBLE. But over time I've realized that going cold-turkey just doesn't work when it comes to the binge monster... I suggest switching up your binges, when you get craaazy hungry for ice cream binge out on frozen grapes, lower cal and you get that same cold feeling. Instead of a bag of potato chips eat kale chips, or eat some rice crackers with non fat cheese instead of pizza. When you feel a binge coming on, try to binge on healthy foods, Eat ABSURD amounts of vegetables. Eventually you won't want as much food and you'll naturally stop craving shit that makes you fat.
ReplyDeleteBelieve me, we have all been here. Be Strong, we (the readers) are here for you, and I know you'll pull through.
<3